this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
zippers are such a cool invention
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
