Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
