Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
