Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
