dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize