just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
