This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
