I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
