he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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