If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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