oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
