You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
