jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
