You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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