hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
