I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
