From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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