i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
