ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
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Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
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i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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