I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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