I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
