he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You are a genius and a whore.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
