Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
