yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
