Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just tell him i said nine months
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
