If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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