I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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