butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
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Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
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Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My bed smells like the plague
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize