I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
