While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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