This house was built for laser tag.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
