Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
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I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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