ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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