We're like a lot better than the average bears
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think we might need a safe word for this...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
