Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
