I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
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told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
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For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm too high and old for this...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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