butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
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She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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