On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
