I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
