You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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