you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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