Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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