you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
