i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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