you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
