Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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