Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
