you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
