the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
