I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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