A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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