The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
