I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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