I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
