My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
