i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
